Round 23 Review

Written by Father Dougal on August 28 2017

Hello fellow SuperCoaches and welcome to the twilight zone. A place where Thommo is off gallivanting around in Europe letting some random blokes sneak in and usurp his column! I’ll be glad to hand it right back over though; nothing like walking a ways in his Blundstones to find out how much work the weekly review is. He makes it look so easy! So did Chillo and Huttabito….maybe its just me…..

Since this is the last week of Supercoach for the year, I’ve decided on a theme of endings. Gotta have a theme for the weekly review. So, I’ll find a way to fit each match to a favorite movie ending, all being endings I have seen, rather than just read about. I’ve watched some weird movies….

Since these are movie endings, spoiler alert for all of them!



Results are in and and while Wognuts had a rough week with just 2,257, that was enough to hold onto first place. Well done mate! His final total was 50,871 for an overall rank of 251!  WeDoNotForgive@SCT was second, and NoWorries@SCT was third.

Please note that I am only listing the teams from the group with @SCT because only they are eligible for the overall prize!


Last week, we Supercoaches voted for:
5 – Dangerfield: Yet another wasted 3 Brownlow votes?
4 – Tom Mitchell: Freed from a manager who for some reason didn’t like him, he really blossomed.
3 – Macrae : It’s like someone took 1/3 of Dahlhaus’s score each week and gave it to Macrea
2 – Docherty: Best defender by a ways, just entering his prime
1 – Fyfe : The Comeback Kid.

The overall leaderboard stands as follows:

Player Votes
1 Patrick Dangerfield 61
2 Sam Docherty 21
3 Dustin Martin 17
4 Rory Sloane 17
5 Nat Fyfe 14
5 Tom Mitchell 14


Hawthorn vs Western Bulldogs– The Empire Strikes Back

The still best Star Wars movie ended with the Evil Empire (The Hawks if it wasn’t obvious) recovering from a recent bad patch to hand the upstart rebels (The Dogs, which I hope would be really obvious once you knew the Hawks were the Empire.)  (Is upstart rebels redundant? Maybe if you had a newer group of rebels and a older group of rebels, like the Judean People’s front and the People’s Front of Judea…)  So anyways, the Empire hands the rebels a defeat, and while things end up on a downer note for the Rebels, in the next movie they come back and kill off far too few Ewoks in the process of eventually winning. The Hawks may have won this match and kept the Dogs out of finals, which is certainly a sad thing for the defending champs, but I predict the Dogs showing up next year with the fire they had last year but lost this year. Meaning the movie the Dogs will be compared to in my theoretical next season, pre-season prediction post is Quest for Fire.

Hawks (99) def Bulldogs (90).


Jarryd Roughead – Scored 140 SC from 5.2 with 10 marks and 6 tackles. Comeback complete, if a bit late for those of us who started with him!

Ben McEvoy – A 138 from 29 hitouts, with 4 frees for and 9 tackles, and a DE of 94%.

Paul Puopolo – Huh? Really? Yes, really. Scored 130 SC from 3.0 with 2 frees for, 6 tackles and 19 disposals at 89%.


The Bont / Dahlhaus / Johannisen – 73 / 67 / 47 – Do I even need to explain? I didn’t think so.

Luke Hodge – Went out with a win, but would have disappointed his owners. Somehow I don’t think he cares a lot of about his Supercoach score this week, given his fine career.


Collingwood vs Melbourne – The Sixth Sense

In the Sixth Sense, we go through the movie thinking the main character is alive, and it turns out he was really dead. This year we went through the season thinking the Demons finals hopes were alive, and it turns out they were really dead. If you have a must win match vs the Pies and lose, you weren’t ready for finals anyways. Let us hope that unlike the works of M. Knight, Sha-I’mNotGoingToLookUpHowToSpellHisName, the sequels are better and not steadily worse.

Crows (99) def Demons (83).


Will Hoskin-Elliot – Scored a 115, which if you held him this long is a heck of a way to end his season.

Clayton Oliver – Came out of nowhere and rewarded those who got him in with a 117 in the SC grand finals.


Max Gawn – A mere 67, let’s hope he can get himself right over the offseason.


Brisbane vs North Melbourne– Casablanca

At the end of Casablanca, the two characters who remain there, meaning “the losers” walk off together, happy. At the end of this match, the Roos and Lions walked off the field together, having finished the wooden spoon playoff.  The Roos were happy to not get the wooden spoon, and Lions happy to have a shot at yet another added draft pick.

Roos  (130) def Lions  (79).


Daniel Rich – Had one of those matches where the roaming defender racks up the points. At least it looked that way to me from the part of the match I saw. However he got them, he scored a 126.

Alex Witherden – A rookie who tons up with a 105 in the SC finals! Definitely a hero.

Todd Goldstein – Nice way to end a rough season, 122 points from a solid match.


Kayne Turner – Just because I can!  Smurf!

Tom Rockliff – Just 68, apparently the shoulder is still bothering him. Hope he gets it right before next season.


Sydney vs Carlton – Brazil

Brazil is a mad, sad, wacky move from Terry Gilliam, which features an evil Micheal Palin, and lots of dystopian wierdness. Did I mention evil Palin? Just wrong, and very creepy. At the end, our hero is sitting in a “chair” about to spend some “quality time” with evil Palin and some implements, when he goes mad, living in an alternate fantasy world in his head, trying to tune out reality. In this match, the Swans tormented the Blues, who had another rough season and who can only go to finals in their dreams. At least this year. They have an edge on poor Jonathan Pryce, the movie’s hero, because when they play the season again the results may be different, while the movie turns out the same way every time I watch it.

Swans (138) def Blues (57).


Buddy – Saints preserve us, 183 points! Scored 10.2, with 10 marks, 21 kicks, 3 frees for. And I actually brought him in for Wallis, desperately fiddling with my phone minutes before the deadline, because I didn’t have time to think of anyone else. Un-be-fecking-leivable. Bet he won a few people their grand final.


Isaac Heeny – Just 76. I guess he really wasn’t right from the Glandular fever.


Geenlong vs GWS – Planet of the Apes

At the end of the movie, the “human” gets a nasty surprise, where he find out he is on earth, and it has all gone to crap. More importantly, there are lots and lots of sequels. Both the Cats and Giants are in the finals, so while they wasn’t really much going to crap, there is a shot at a sequel before we’re all done for the year.

Cats (103) def Giants (59).


Dangerfield – Should just be cutting and pasting in here every week. He’s awesome. Woe to he who does not own and captain him. Mock you I will if you start without him next season.

Menegola, Scott Selwood, Duncan – Some guys who would have been the heroes on a team without Paddy. They all stepped up when it mattered.


Heath Shaw – Kind of beating a dead Heater. Age caught up to him.

Shane Mumford – Last I checked the Cats didn’t have an actual ruckman, so what happened?

Port Adelaide vs Gold Coast – The Wicker Man (Original of course!)

At the end of the Wicker Man, a police officer who has been lured to the beautiful island of Summerisle, is burnt alive as a sacrifice. A virgin sacrifice. The locals worshiped the local non-Christian gods, who needed appeasing. The locals knew they were out of favor having had a bad harvest. In this match, the Suns, who were lured to the beautiful Gold Coast, were torched by the Power by 115 points. The Suns also being  “virgins”, never having won much of anything. And they have a God on their side, who had not shown up recently and seems to need appeasing. I’d mock them less if they hadn’t just lost by 115 points, having scored only 20. Plus, wow so many parallels it is eerie.

Power (135) def Suns (20)


Patrick Ryder – Finishing a fine season well with a 122.

Dan Houston – Wait, I know this guy from Cow Talk! He scored 111? Good on ya mate!


Gary – cause he didn’t play AGAIN.


Essendon vs Fremantle– Raiders of the Lost Ark

Ok, I got nothin here. I loved the ending of the movie, where the ark goes into a warehouse to be ignored forever after. But the Dockers aren’t the ark, their just a struggling team with a coach so well liked he has his own acronym. (FURL)  And the Bombers are in the finals, so hardly being put away. Really, it was a good match with the Bombers showing up when they needed to. If you can’t beat the Dockers in a must win match, you don’t deserve to be in the finals. But the Dons did win, so they are in the finals. So, um, good for them. Ok, time to put this bit out of our misery….

Bombers (107) def Dockers (92).


Tom Bellchambers – A 150? What happened, did he play a team with no ruckman or something? Oh, right, well, good job punishing the team with no ruckman.

Zac Merrett – At last, a big score from Zac (135) after a long dry spell.


……you know I don’t really see anyone who looks like a villain from this match. They are not quite evil enough. They’re semi-evil. They’re quasi-evil. They’re the margarine of evil. They’re the Diet Coke of evil, just one calorie, not evil enough.


 Richmond vs St Kilda – Rosemary’s Baby

At the end of the movie, Rosemary has given birth to the Anti-Christ, and is peer pressured into taking care of her baby just like it wasn’t visibly demonic. So the “Christian” side lost. And Sunday, the Saints, aka the “Christian” side, lost. And they are used to it, almost accepting of it, although peer pressure is probably not an issue there.  No real Tiger connection. Tigers are cool, and not demonic. One could argue the Richmond Tigers had to make a deal with dark forces to make it into the finals, but I think that is going too far. Now if they win it all, that could be a sign of a deal with the powers below!

Tigers  (122) def Saints (81).


Dusty Martin – Player I most kick myself for not having brought in sooner. Like 3-4 times I picked someone else, because I am an idiot. I at least owned him for this fine 36 disposal, 146 SC point match.

Jack Steele – Anyone who still has him deserved to get his 110 this week.


Jack Newnes – I doubt a lot of people had him, but a 35? Yuck.


West Coast vs Adelaide – Gone with the Wind

An easy one, both because of the truly great ending of the movie, and because of how it maps to this match. The Eagles beat the Crows, and do the Crows care? Crow-Badger does not care, because this loss moves them from the top of the ladder down to the top of the ladder. Frankly Eagles, the Crows didn’t give a damn.

Eagles (100) def Crows (71).


Crouch and Crouch – Both Matt and Brad finished really well, and may finally be delivering on all that potential.

Rory Sloane – He might not be able to handle a tag, but he still ended up scoring better than many of the players we took instead of him. No freaking idea what to do next season with him. Oh, was I supposed to talk about this one match? Right, um…..38 disposals, 9 tackles, and net three frees for. Also some clangers. Still, 130 SC points.


Elliot Yeo – I suppose when your team has the ball in the opponent’s 50 so much it is hard for a defender to score a lot. Just 77 points.

Rory Laird – I suppose when your team has the ball in the opponent’s 50 so much it is hard for a defender to score a….wait a minute! Your side was the one losing! Maybe because you had a bad match? Didn’t look that bad with 26 disposals at 84%…..


Okay, that’s it for this season’s Round Reviews. Thanks so much for reading!


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14 thoughts on “Round 23 Review”

  1. Great stuff Father. Thommo defiantly makes it look easy, much respect with the ability they get pumped out every Monday morning, especially after giving it a go myself.

    Brazil is the my most hated movie ever. Single handedly made me fail year 12 English after refusing to do the assignment on it 😛 I just couldn’t.


    1. Thank you. I would go mad trying to do this every week. The early deadline is brutal! No idea how Thommo manages so well.

      My, sorry for the Brazil flashbacks. It is….a challenging movie. Not a feel good movie for sure. I tend to watch fun things more than hard things normally.


  2. Wait. Bruce Willis was dead the whole time? NOOOOOOOO

    Great job FD. Thommo leaves Thorpie-size shoes to fill, but you’ve done it admirably. Any plans for the off-season?


    1. Thanks mate. SC wise I will take a break, and then try to start in on things for the next pre-season. I don’t have the will to do much supercoach related at the moment.

      Non-SC, I have a ton of work on a “fun” project that is going to take a lot of my time. Also a fair amount of brewing beer and cider-like beverages.


  3. Great stuff Father! Loved your theme too. Well done!

    The fact that we’ve had three SCT writers comment on your post reminds me of the early days of SCT. Duck would write a post and the only comment on it would be from me “Haaaaaaaaa! You’re hilarious Duck. Great post” and vice versa from him. Ahhhhh the good old days.


    1. I always thought duck was your imaginary friend or like an Amazon reviewer from some Chinese manufacturer. Well, there you go…


  4. Thanks for all of your efforts team! Fantastic work all season. Although there is no survey this week we already know who has it won!


  5. Piefan next year Maynard will be a hero week after week now Bucks is going to give him a midfield role. Might need to improve his disposal effieciency , but probably will be the must have backman next year and , you were his number 1 fan and saw his potential before everyone else which you deserve all the accolades you can get for spoting the future breakout superstar SC player of the Future.

    Great write up Father D. and congratulations on your finish inside the Top 5k overall.


  6. Great stuff FD

    Awesome review but I must add a Villain to the WC v ADL game.

    Josh Spud Kennedy scored 49 (in a win FFS)

    Even a 95 would of won me 2 more GFs.

    Enjoy your time off, and your beer.


  7. Definitely my favourite read of the week and you’ve done it justice FD.

    Hopefully they won’t stop just because it’s finals!


  8. An excellent theme Father – I particularly enjoyed the Sixth Sense and Gone with the wind analogies!

    Well done to all of you filling in and seeing through Thommo’s epic review column to the end of the home and away season.


  9. Hey FD, thanks again for filling in for Round 23. I love the Austin Powers reference at the end there. Maybe I’m a child but I enjoy the scene where he tells his son he’s quasi-evil, etc.



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