Classic Cometti

Written by Motts on September 1 2010

Far and away my favourite footy commentator.

‘Scotty Cummings alone in the square, jumping up and down and waving his arms like they’re playing My Sharona …’

‘Farmer may have an injury to his calf … hmmm, a farmer with a calf problem …’

‘Spider had both his legs taken out from under him – leaving only the other six to balance on …’

“Ball to Barker to Barlow – The Hawks are attacking alphabetically”

On Melbourne’s Adam Yze: “A terrific player . . . terrible scrabble hand.”

“Ling’s running off the ground a little bit gingerly.”

“Cousins, runs away from Carr … not the first time we’ve seen that this season.”

About Cameron Cloke who was timing his ruck work badly, something along the lines of: “He leaves his messages before the beep.”

‘Hay is bailed up on the boundary line . . .’

‘Walker to Carr . . . that’s a step up . . .’

‘He’s made a typo! – he wanted Bickley and he’s got Buckley!’

“The Magpies ought to be kicking themselves right now, but with their luck, they’d probably miss.”

After Darren Gaspar hits the post from 40 metres out: “Gaspar, the unfriendly post.”

“Ashley McIntosh, like a good hair spray … capable of a subtle hold.”

“Ball in dispute, Lamb, now Yze the meat in the sandwich. Really Lamb should be in the sandwich.”

On former Magpie, Crow and now Cat, Brenton Sanderson: “He goes much better as a mammal.”

Dennis Cometti, several years ago, Fremantle v Port, Josh Carr wearing 9 for Port, crunches his brother Matthew, wearing 9 for Freo. “How’s that, a two Carr collision, both with the same rego!”

Danial Metropolis playing for the Eagles was gang tackled by 3 opposition players. “Now there’s a city under siege”

A few weeks ago Collingwood were 40+ points up against the Dogs. The camera focuses on David Smorgon, the Bulldogs president who is looking despondent. “Now there’s a glum dog millionaire.”

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10 thoughts on “Classic Cometti”

  1. Brilliant. A few weeks ago when Kyle Reimers had a free in the goal square and for some reason snapped over his shoulder and hit the post instead of taking the easy shot at goal, Commetti, refering to it the following week said “Last week, when his brain turned into a wind tunnel and he hit the post from the goal square”

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  2. Had these sitting in a document on my computer [received them in an email about 8 years ago]. Enjoy!!

    “Ugle playing on Peter Matera, fumbling around for the ball and probably his autograph book…”

    Dermott: “And the ball spills free to Kickett…”
    Cometti: “Troy Cook you mean?”
    Dermott: “Yes.. well, they do look rather alike.”
    Cometti: “How so Dermott?”
    Dermott: (realising that sounded rather racist.) “Umm, well, they are both..er..”
    Cometti: “Midfielders, yes Dermott.”

    Healy: Word is this guy is the most reliable kick for goal in the side. They say down at Collingwood if you had to have someone kicking for your life, Tarkyn Lockyer would be the man.”
    Cometti: “I’d prefer my mum”
    (silence)
    Cometti: “Not a great footballer, but at least she’d care.”

    “Barlow to Bateman, the Hawks are attacking alphabetically”

    “The Magpies ought to be kicking themselves right now, but with their luck, they’d probably miss.”

    “Carl Steinfort looking more like Robert Walls than Robert Walls”

    “Bell bringing the ball out of the back line…..looking for wide runners…..passes to Walker…a contradiction in terms, really”

    “The goal square’s full of Bears, looks like we’ve got ourselves a convoy”

    “The only change to the Eagles side is that Rowan Jones has had a haircut”

    “It’s a goal! A dream start for Hawthorn. Spider had both his legs taken out from under him – leaving only the other six to balance on…..”

    Dennis: “Whhhhoa CUMMINGS no it was almost a Modra like attempt we can see here in the replay”
    (As Cummings is in the air slow motion)
    Dennis: “Modra, Modra, Modra…”
    (Cummings gets no where near the ball, looking like a clown)
    “CUMMINGS”

    On former Magpie, Crow and at the time Cat, Brenton Sanderson:
    “He goes much better as a mammal.”

    “I love that surname Fixter. Sounds like something from a Batman movie – ‘The Fixter…’ but I digress…”

    Tony Liberatore had just gone into a pack as he is wont to do and come out with blood gushing from his eye:
    “Libba went into the pack optimistically and came out misty optically.”

    Dermie: “Why do you suppose he went side on to take the mark?”
    Dennis: “He probably was trying to impress the Russian judge.”

    “Richardson contests the ruck….without much conviction. Well, he may be the best player on their list……..well, certainly Matthew thinks he’s the best player on their list at the moment……mind you, that’s a bit like being the best Centre Half Forward in Czechoslovakia…..”

    “If it was a set play, they copied it from a Portuguese bus time-table”

    At a boundary throw in
    “To paraphrase the rule. Both Ruckmen can do as they wish as long as they don’t use power tools.”

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Classic Cometti

Written by Motts on

Far and away my favourite footy commentator.

‘Scotty Cummings alone in the square, jumping up and down and waving his arms like they’re playing My Sharona …’

‘Farmer may have an injury to his calf … hmmm, a farmer with a calf problem …’

‘Spider had both his legs taken out from under him – leaving only the other six to balance on …’

“Ball to Barker to Barlow – The Hawks are attacking alphabetically”

On Melbourne’s Adam Yze: “A terrific player . . . terrible scrabble hand.”

“Ling’s running off the ground a little bit gingerly.”

“Cousins, runs away from Carr … not the first time we’ve seen that this season.”

About Cameron Cloke who was timing his ruck work badly, something along the lines of: “He leaves his messages before the beep.”

‘Hay is bailed up on the boundary line . . .’

‘Walker to Carr . . . that’s a step up . . .’

‘He’s made a typo! – he wanted Bickley and he’s got Buckley!’

“The Magpies ought to be kicking themselves right now, but with their luck, they’d probably miss.”

After Darren Gaspar hits the post from 40 metres out: “Gaspar, the unfriendly post.”

“Ashley McIntosh, like a good hair spray … capable of a subtle hold.”

“Ball in dispute, Lamb, now Yze the meat in the sandwich. Really Lamb should be in the sandwich.”

On former Magpie, Crow and now Cat, Brenton Sanderson: “He goes much better as a mammal.”

Dennis Cometti, several years ago, Fremantle v Port, Josh Carr wearing 9 for Port, crunches his brother Matthew, wearing 9 for Freo. “How’s that, a two Carr collision, both with the same rego!”

Danial Metropolis playing for the Eagles was gang tackled by 3 opposition players. “Now there’s a city under siege”

A few weeks ago Collingwood were 40+ points up against the Dogs. The camera focuses on David Smorgon, the Bulldogs president who is looking despondent. “Now there’s a glum dog millionaire.”

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0


Leave a comment / Scroll to bottom

10 thoughts on “Classic Cometti”

  1. Brilliant. A few weeks ago when Kyle Reimers had a free in the goal square and for some reason snapped over his shoulder and hit the post instead of taking the easy shot at goal, Commetti, refering to it the following week said “Last week, when his brain turned into a wind tunnel and he hit the post from the goal square”

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    1. Thanks for the memories Juddylicious – was this Peter Wilson’s goal kicked over his head in the ’92 GF or Peter Matera’s run around the boundary line in the ’94 GF?
      Maybe some of our Collingwood, Richmond, Melbourne, Saints or ‘Dogs supporters can help me here as the Premierships tended to meld for us which has not been a problem for you guys during the past generation or so.

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  2. Had these sitting in a document on my computer [received them in an email about 8 years ago]. Enjoy!!

    “Ugle playing on Peter Matera, fumbling around for the ball and probably his autograph book…”

    Dermott: “And the ball spills free to Kickett…”
    Cometti: “Troy Cook you mean?”
    Dermott: “Yes.. well, they do look rather alike.”
    Cometti: “How so Dermott?”
    Dermott: (realising that sounded rather racist.) “Umm, well, they are both..er..”
    Cometti: “Midfielders, yes Dermott.”

    Healy: Word is this guy is the most reliable kick for goal in the side. They say down at Collingwood if you had to have someone kicking for your life, Tarkyn Lockyer would be the man.”
    Cometti: “I’d prefer my mum”
    (silence)
    Cometti: “Not a great footballer, but at least she’d care.”

    “Barlow to Bateman, the Hawks are attacking alphabetically”

    “The Magpies ought to be kicking themselves right now, but with their luck, they’d probably miss.”

    “Carl Steinfort looking more like Robert Walls than Robert Walls”

    “Bell bringing the ball out of the back line…..looking for wide runners…..passes to Walker…a contradiction in terms, really”

    “The goal square’s full of Bears, looks like we’ve got ourselves a convoy”

    “The only change to the Eagles side is that Rowan Jones has had a haircut”

    “It’s a goal! A dream start for Hawthorn. Spider had both his legs taken out from under him – leaving only the other six to balance on…..”

    Dennis: “Whhhhoa CUMMINGS no it was almost a Modra like attempt we can see here in the replay”
    (As Cummings is in the air slow motion)
    Dennis: “Modra, Modra, Modra…”
    (Cummings gets no where near the ball, looking like a clown)
    “CUMMINGS”

    On former Magpie, Crow and at the time Cat, Brenton Sanderson:
    “He goes much better as a mammal.”

    “I love that surname Fixter. Sounds like something from a Batman movie – ‘The Fixter…’ but I digress…”

    Tony Liberatore had just gone into a pack as he is wont to do and come out with blood gushing from his eye:
    “Libba went into the pack optimistically and came out misty optically.”

    Dermie: “Why do you suppose he went side on to take the mark?”
    Dennis: “He probably was trying to impress the Russian judge.”

    “Richardson contests the ruck….without much conviction. Well, he may be the best player on their list……..well, certainly Matthew thinks he’s the best player on their list at the moment……mind you, that’s a bit like being the best Centre Half Forward in Czechoslovakia…..”

    “If it was a set play, they copied it from a Portuguese bus time-table”

    At a boundary throw in
    “To paraphrase the rule. Both Ruckmen can do as they wish as long as they don’t use power tools.”

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    1. There was also his description of Gilbert’s predicament as he copped some friendly-fire from a team mate:
      “Like being run over by an ambulance”

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