Cow Talk – Round 17

Written by Father Dougal on July 11 2018

Small or Far Away” Father Dougal on Cows

This is the week when the grown up cows get sent off to college to do all the things they will tell dodgy stories about once they leave college. Not graduate of course, because cows, but same idea. Younger newer cows will take their places, like the new interns each year who actually run MTV. (This is not a joke, the only people at MTV in touch with young people are the interns, and they wield the mighty power of knowing not only what is dope, but that dope is no longer dope.)

Hmm, maybe I should get an intern or two. Anyone want to be a Cow Talk intern….? Imagine the possibilities! (That’s your first assignment.)

I love the player takeover Fox Footy is doing, even if they stole it from Cow Talk.


Tom Doedee reminds me why I should stick to numbers and not make predictions. Wow, what the heck!

Jeremy Finlayson is the first of many cows en route to cowledge. Can’t belive I didn’t think of it up above. Too lazy to edit, gonna just leave that obvious cow-joke-like-substance here and moove on.

Aaron Naughton is also off to cowledge. Nobody holding him should be expecting him to make any money anyways. Wonder if his price next year will be low enough to make him interesting.

Ed Richards is also all grown up.

Tom Cole like Richards in that he is all grown up. Unlike Richards in that he didn’t grow up that much.

Logan Austin has finally played his fifth match and joins us. I was never much of a fan, and must admit he has done significantly better than I expected.


Tim Kelly  has been amazing but now his amazing is routine, except for those matches where he is “b” or “c” mazing. Either way, not much left to say about him.

Nick Holman  does well on odd numbered game weeks and poorly on even numbered game weeks. Pretty much all you need to know. And if I am wrong, we shall never know because I’m not likely to write about him again! Best way to make a prediction!

Lachlan Fogarty  Bye!

Bailey Banfield  has every right to complain about my comparing him to Carrot Top. I apologize for even thinking it. My best wishes and don’t let the door hit your butt on the way out.

Andrew Brayshaw can go ahead and let the door hit him on the butt on his way out.

Jaidyn Stephenson can…oh just get going.

Paddy Dow  Should have been kicked out a while back

Cameron Rayner  must be an Andy Kaufman fan. Put up another score that merits his retention.

Stephan Giro  seems to have job security at Freo , along with the rest of their young players. TURL.


Oscar McInerny is McOuterny


Jake Waterman: Like Tim Conway, he has faded; so much we won’t be able to see him in the future!  

Bayley Fritsch is a blazing comet of scoring, playing F6 for many of us.  He’s the kid who’s photo is the one in front on the table in the front hall. Still not enough to keep him here though, same issue, all grown. Still kicking him out. 

Billy Gowers   Is staying for a week so I can warn of his imminent price drop, for those who care. Hey! Those who care! Price drop imminent!

Jack Henry:  Done

Ben Ronke  Also done

Jack Higgins  is doing well enough to deserve to stay around a bit. 

Zac Langdon Bye

Paul Ahern has been involved in a lot of drama for a guy who has only played five matches.

Brody Mihocek has been able to fill in for a variety of injured Pies well enough to stay on field.

Micheal Apeness is still playing, so far.


Non Cow Stuff




Here’s why I was wrong to compare Banfield to Carrot Top.


So, about that pic....

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Hopefully nobody will end up thinking about Carrot Top every time Ben Brown goes back for that long run up. Every single time. Stuck in your head. Forever.


Final thoughts

Please let me know if I missed adding anyone!

Thanks for reading!


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10 thoughts on “Cow Talk – Round 17”

    1. Only two matches, so not a lot to go on yet. I’ll add him next week. I own him so will start tracking him, and no reason not to share once I have done the work.


      1. He looks a jet for sure. Though someone on SCT posted that he has a history of hammie pings (two this year) apparently. Might be worth researching (can’t remember which thread it was, sorry.
        If I had the trades I’d be bringing him in too.


  1. All great stuff, but I really got a kick out of McOuterny for some reason. I’m weird like that.

    Looking forward to Paul Ahern becoming the star of this show



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