Cow Talk Round 17 –> 18

Written by Father Dougal on July 17 2019

Small or Far Away, Father Dougal on Cows

Hi Everybody!

This week I’m gonna try for a bit less complaining and a bit more useful.

Low bar for both!

I’ll take my successes where I can get them.


Do NOT translate that.

Anyways, I worked this out for my own team, but applies to everyone. We are pretty much past the time when you can improve your team unless you are going rookie to premium. At 15 points a week better you are not even making 100, which is what you can get from a week of replacing an injured premium. If you have enough trades and backups that you don’t need all of them to cover “surprises” then that may not apply. If you are “brave.” Rookie to premo is still quite workable though. A 60 scoring cow to a 90+ scoring premium for six weeks is 180+, which is a fine return.

So, using those last few trades. At this point, we have all been thinking about the same players for a long time. Over and over again. Digging a path in the ground we have gone over and over again. Sort of, oh, like a rut. I need one more defender, so Hurn or Whitfield? Well, I have been thinking about them all season, but, first are they still good options, and second, are there other options out there? Probably are. Are they worth taking, possibly. Are they worth thinking about? Certainly.

Maybe look at three and five round averages and see if something had changed that could explain an increase or decrease. New coaches. New roles. What, for example, got into Dane Rampe, Darcy Byrne-Jones, and Nick Newman? Shannon Hurn has only averaged 96 from the last six games. Season low price, but has something happened to slow his scoring? Maybe Hurn is the right choice, but I sure wouldn’t assume he still is. Do I trust Whitfield not to be tagged and to stay healthy?

Also, with so few matches left, we can look at where each game will be played and vs which teams. We also should think about which teams might want to rest a gun or two before or near before finals. Which teams are playing games that matter, and who is just seeing out the season. And the Blues won’t play finals but sure seems to be playing for pride in a big way right now.

Anyways, to sum up, this is the time to look around and consider options that would be silly risk early in the season. Not PODs for the sake of having PODs, but to make sure we do not walk through the garden of trades with blinkers on, missing all the pretty flowers off to the sides.

Did you just call the AFL players we are trading in pretty flowers?

Maybe sort of?….Yes?

Those very fit, very strong, very big men and Caleb Daniel who can all outrun you for both speed and distance, and then play “she loves me she loves me not” with your limbs in the place of, oh, flower petals?

………..let me rephrase………Not PODs for the sake of having PODs, but to make sure we do not walk through the lost valley of dinosaurs with blinkers on, missing all the mighty T-Rexes and swift, deadly Velocipedes!

Velocipedes are olde-time bicycles! 

….and swift, deadly Velociraptors!

So, now you are comparing AFL players to dead lizards with brains the size of walnuts?

Why are you looking at me like that…Um, nevermind, wait, ow ow ow!


Sorry little bloke, I’ll get you some pumpkin seeds to munch on while we wait for someone to unfold himself out of your cage.

Happy Squeak!


Duursma – Did not play

Logue– Did. NOT. PLAY!  Arrrrghhhhh!!!!

Answerth– Played. Not looking like he has a lot of profit in him, but a fine DPP cover option.




Walsh – Nice ton! May be at M8 for a lot of people. Neither ideal nor tragic. With a decent follow up to his ton he could pass his previous season high price. Nice!

Stack– If his price matters, looks like this or next week for a sale.

D. Clarke– Price still slowly rising. could even end up making enough for owners who have the trades to make use of it.

Jackson “Godot” Hately – Did not play, but whatever, we knew that would happen.


Zac Clarke – Finally showing signs of making cash. Again, only useful to those in a happy trading place.


Setterfield – Doing better than his owners could hope as a backup.

Remember, all predictions wrong or triple your money back!

Apologies in advance for delays in responding to comments, ’cause sleep and work. Stupid time zones.

Please let me know what I missed and messed up in the comments. I’ll try and fix and add tomorrow afternoon.

Thanks for Reading!




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12 thoughts on “Cow Talk Round 17 –> 18”

  1. Thank you FD.

    You have given me not only laughs, but way too much else to think about..

    Nice see you back and in fine form. 😉

    Ps..I for one think you’re fricken hilarious.

    But people tell me I tell Dad jokes, so take that how you will.

    Fyfe or …Merrett and $ ?


    1. FT….Dad jokes are cool. Always cool. Don’t let anybody tell you any different.

      How do Mexicans stay warm during the winter??

      (Cue drum roll……..)


    2. I was sitting in the park one day, just thinking to myself, when I saw a frisbee coming straight at me …

      then it hit me!


  2. A pair of jumper leads and a bra were waiting in line at a night club to get in.
    The bouncer says “nah sorry fellas, you cant come in”
    How come? asks the Jumper leads?
    Bouncer replies, “because you look like you’re about to start something, and ya mates already of his tits!”


  3. Mans wife is so upset with him as when he has a drink he always spews up all over his shirt and costs 25 bucks at the dry cleaners,but he is adamant that it is always some-one else.
    Hes going out with the boys and his wife warns him ,
    He comes home late and leaves 50 bucks on the end of the bed,
    She says dont tell me someone spewed on your shirt and why is there 50 and not 25 bucks,
    He says someone shit in my pants as well.



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