Round 8 Review

Written by Thommo on May 15 2017

THE BLUNDSTONE SCT GROUP PRIZE 

Well, it’s been another tough week for some teams, not so tough for others, so there was a large movement in the race for the Supercoach Group Prize. Stephen and his Wognuts@SCT jumped into the lead with a cracking round 8 score while Jack’s TheSalamander@SCT not far behind. Jack always says they can’t be beaten and he appears to be right at the moment!

Not shown here is Huttabito who has jumped into sixth place in the hunt for the Group Prize. Thank God one of our writers is representing Supercoach Talk!

TEAM COACH TOTAL SCORE Rank
1 Wognuts@SCT Stephen 17433 848
2 TheSalamander@SCT Jack 17417 950
3 BabyBombers@SCT Dilan 17398 1082
4 Joberobbed@SCT Jataal 17373 1294
5 No Worries@SCT Timothy 17349 1522

Please note that I am only listing the teams from the group with @SCT because only they are eligible for the overall prize!

SUPERTALK COACH CHAMPION

Last week, we Supercoaches voted for:

5 – Lance Franklin: 5 votes for beating up on the long-suffering Lions!

4 – Marcus Bontempelli: The jealousy of non-owners has held back the Bont this season.

3 – Tom Rockliff: Likewise Rocky deserves to be up there with the best of 2017.

2 – Jarryd Waite: I feel dirty including Waite in this list.

1 – Sam Petrevski-Seton: Probably deserved the 5 votes for his efforts!

The top 10 on the overall leaderboard stands as follows:

Player Total Votes
Rory Sloane 10
Patrick Dangerfield 7
Marcus Bontempelli 6
Gary Ablett 5
Luke Dahlhaus 5
Lance Franklin 5
Rory Laird 5
Dustin Martin 5
Scott Pendlebury 5
Nick Riewoldt 5
Adam Treloar 5

So who did you like in Round 8?

Supercoach Talk Champion 2017, Round 8 (5 choices)

View Results

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SAINTS AND SINNERS FOR ROUND 8

LET’S GET TANGENTIAL!!!!

I have tried to keep these reviews Supercoach-relevant this season but I keep hearing that everyone prefers either irrelevant facts or odd, meandering tangents. The more ridiculous the better!

Therefore I decided to go so far off reservation you’ll need to hire yourself a Native American guide to find me.

So if you have any complaints about this week’s review, I can only say this:

You asked for it!

WEST COAT 9.15 (69) def WESTERN BULLDOGS 8.13 (61)

HEAVEN OR HELL

I

John stared around wildly, bewildered: Everywhere he looked he found fluffy, white clouds. “What the hell…?” he thought.

Only moments ago he was four-sheets-to-the-wind and shouting at the big screen TV at his local pub as his beloved Doggies made a fourth quarter charge at the Eagles. Leaning against the bar near the finger-food buffet, he was imploring the Bont to perform a final quarter miracle when pain gripped his chest like a vicious bear-hug from an angry gorilla. He looked down to find a distinct lack of hairy arms around his chest, but the vice-like band of excruciating pressure squeezed tighter and tighter. Unable to draw breath and head spinning, he drunkenly reached for the bar, missed it completely, and fell face-first into a plate of mini-quiches.

His final thought as the room went dark was how much he hated mini-quiches.

And then John was here, wherever here was, standing amongst white, fluffy clouds. He looked this way and that, searching for something, anything, other than clouds. But again nothing! He wondered where he should go, what to do and what exactly was holding him up.

Perhaps it was time to panic?

“Welcome!’” a deep voice said behind him…

Saints

Andrew Gaff (121) played as the invisible man again receiving the ball from teammates and opponents alike. 33 possessions and 15 marks yet nobody ever bothers to man him up.

Shannon Hurn (121) had that random big game he pumps out once or twice per year using that cannon he calls a leg to great effect. A disposal efficiency of 89% helped a great deal.

Caleb Daniel (116) tried to tag Sam Mitchell to no effect in the first half but was brilliant in the second half running free, racking up 21 of his 30 possessions. Elliott Yeo (109) did almost exactly the same job on Bontempelli, having little effect in a run-with role, but was fantastic late with numerous interceptions late in the match. Still he was lucky to score well given his 58% DE and 5 clangers. I smell a scoring anomaly.

Maybe Champion Data need to stop rewarding him 20 points for intercept marks?

And finally Matthew Priddis (106) was workman-like with 24 possessions and 11 tackles. Boring but reliable old Priddis.

Sinners

Tom Liberatore (34) appears to be suffering the ill-effects of being Mummified. Surely the AFL needs to enforce a mandatory week off for concussed players like the NRL does?

Luke Dahlhaus (65) was around the ball a lot but he hand-passed too often and won an unusually low number of contested possessions. Likewise Jason Johannisen (77) also had plenty of the ball but 4 clangers and low contested ball numbers also cost him points.

HAWTHORN 17.11 (113) def BRISBANE 11.9 (75)

II

John spun to the sound of the voice. Where previously there were only clouds he now discovered a sombre faced man, dressed completely in white, standing in front of a large arched gate. The man’s beard was white, his hair was white, even his wings were white.

His wings!?!

Now that John thought about it, those gates looked rather pearly!

Oh, dear.

“Yes you are,” the man replied.

“Am I dead?” John asked. Then he scratched his head, puzzled.

“Yes I did,” the man replied.

“Did you reply before I spoke?” John asked.

“Yes I am and it is.”

“So you are St Peter and this is Heaven?” John asked, disconcerted by his questions being answered before he asked them.

“Of course, I apologize.” St Peter replied.

“Can you please stop answering before I’ve spoken, it’s really disconcerting!”

John paused to gather his thoughts.

“So you’re meant to judge me or something, right?” he asked.

Saints

Only a popped shoulder late in the match for Tom Rockliff (147) soured another huge 30 possession, 16 clearance, 21 contested possession, 12 tackle and 1 goal effort.

Like Rockliff, Tom Mitchell (135) was again on fire with his eighth straight 30+ possessions match.

Stefan Martin (125) and Ben McEvoy (111) had a great tussle in the ruck with Martin winning the hit-outs 63-34 but McEvoy snaring 3 contested marks and plenty more possessions around the ground.

Dayne Zorko (119) combined with Rocky constantly, winning 31 possessions and laying 11 tackles himself.

Sinners

There were few true villains with only a few brave coaches selecting Jack Gunston (75), Josh Gibson (62) or Cyril Rioli (75) so all around it was a Supercoach-friendly match. Cyril was pretty good with 15 possessions and 1 goal but had his knee iced up late in the third quarter after a clumsy spoil/mark attempt.

ST KILDA 12.13 (85) def CARLTON 10.6 (66)

III

“Yes,” St Peter agreed, “I am tasked with passing judgement on all the newly departed. You must tell me of your life, the good and the bad, and the goodness of your soul will be weighed. If you are deemed worthy you will pass through the gates of Heaven.”  St Peter gestured grandly to the gate behind him.

“What, do I tell you everything?” John asked.

“Everything,” St Peter agreed.

“But that will take forever!” John said, trying not to sound petulant before an angel.

“For you, time is no longer an issue!”

Saints

We all knew this was coming when Patrick Cripps (157) regained his fitness but we were hoping he’d wait until after his bye! He did it all with 30 possessions, 11 marks (4 contested), 5 tackles and 2 goals. Champion! Let’s hope he gets over his back problems.

Jack Billings (136) has also threatened to break-out, or even explode-out, for a while and he may now finally be ready. How many players have gathered 30 possessions, 12 marks AND kicked 5 goals. Only 5 clangers prevented a truly monster score.

Sam Docherty (132) just gathered his usual mid-20 possession count with elite kicking: He’s as safe as houses.

Seb Ross (129) also gathered 30 possessions (who doesn’t these days?) and kicked 2 goals while Bryce Gibbs (115) relied on a 90% DE to get value for money from his 22 possessions and 1 goal.

Sinners

Nick Riewoldt (75) and Leigh Montagna (75) are not working out as we all hoped but they are both winning plenty of the ball so will they come good after their byes or is age catching up?

Kade Simpson (82) also won heaps of the ball but used it poorly so he’s proving to be more of a Dreamteam player this season.

He wasn’t terrible but those coached who picked him up this week will be disappointed with Dylan Roberton’s (84) score, especially given his 23 possessions were at 87% DE.

GWS 15.12 (102) def 15.9 (99)

IV

John paused again, wondering where to start. Should he start with the good and then rush through the bad stuff at the end, or start with the bad and finish strong? Maybe he should mix good with bad and hope St Peter lost interest? He glanced at St Peter who stood regarding him with one eyebrow raised.

Oh, right! St Peter could read his thoughts.

Blushing, John blurted out the first thought that jumped to mind. “Well, I work… um, I mean worked… for Champion Data.”

St Peter nodded encouragingly for John to continue, muttering what sounded like a number under his breath.

“Well, while I was there, I worked on the algorithm that powered the Supercoach and Dreamteam Live scores.” John paused: He could have sworn St Peter muttered “minus five” under his breath.

“Did you say something?” he asked.

“Nothing important, please continue.” St Peter said.

Frowning suspiciously, John outlined his job, his successes and failures, from the early popularity of the Supercoach game to the yearly failings of the Live Score system, from his successful management of his IT cohort to his inappropriate flirting with the office receptionist.

He described his youth in detail, amazed what he could now remember, delving into every success or failure.

And as he recounted his life, he was sure St Peter was muttering numbers.

He heard St Peter whisper plus twelve when he recollected chased down a thief at the local mall and a minus five when he described kissing his brother’s very attractive fiancée…

Saints

Kangaroos, go and get your cheque book and write out a blank one for this man: Josh Kelly (147) is a star. While his teammates struggled he had 36 possessions at 80% DE despite 17 of his possessions being contested. He also laid 11 tackles and kicked a goal. Because of him, the Giants have their first victory over the Pies.

Jeremy Cameron (119) grabbed marks (10) and kicked goals (6). Sometimes footy is simple!

Taylor Adams (113) is still punishing those fools who started without him after another 30 possessions and 10 clearances.

I’ll admit I don’t like Stevie J (105) but respect for his response after a week of criticism, kicking the match-winner.

Nathan Wilson (99): Since when do players get a mention for a 99 point game? Weird game, this one!

Sinners

Now this is a talented list!

Heath Shaw (77) continues to disappoint regularly, this week recording 23 possessions at just 65% DE, while I have no idea what has happened to Callan Ward (82)?

After the ‘will he play, won’t he play’ debate that ran all week, Scott Pendlebury (76) did play and his coaches possibly would have preferred that he hadn’t.

Brodie Grundy (82) and Shane Mumford (87) had a pretty even tussle, broke even and broke their coaches’ hearts. Grundy was meant to play well without Mason Cox wasn’t he?

ESSENDON 17.8 (110) def 13.15 (93)

V

“Look, what is going on with the numbers?” he demanded.

St Peter regarding him for a moment before replying. “It’s quite simple, John. I am scoring your life, plus for good, minus for bad. Surely you of all mortals can understand how beneficial and transparent such a system is.”

John considered this and decided St Peter had a point. He loved numbers.

“How am I going so far?” he asked.

“Your soul will be weighed once you are finished. Please continue,” St Peter said.

“How do you weigh my soul? Against a feather?”

“Nothing so antiquated. You are not Egyptian and I am not the dog-headed God, Anubis,” St Peter admonished.

Shrugging, John continued again, regaling St Peter with the early years of his marriage, his most saintly years, confident they would give him the edge he needed to enter Paradise. He felt like he was kicking goals so he was happy to hear St Peter mutter plus twelve more than once.

Finally he was done and he lapsed into silence, waiting expectantly.

Saints

Yet another 33 possessions from Zach Merrett (137) as the Bombers ran rings around the Cats for 3 quarters and his brother-in-arms, Michael Hurley (128), was a wall across half-back with 8 rebound 50s and collecting 27 possessions and 8 marks.

Andrew McDonald-Tipungwuti (116) played a Cyril-like match with 16 possessions, 3 goals and 1 goal assist. His pressure was brilliant late in the piece.

David Zaharakis (113) finally returned to form with 31 possessions but don’t even think about trading him in! Orazio Fantasia (112) and Joe Daniher (112) made a great team up forward with 8 goals between them, including the goal from Orazio that finally broke Geelong.

Sinners

Who knows what is happening with Joel Selwood (75)? He’s winning a decent amount of the ball with 24 possessions but only laid the 1 tackle. Toughen up Joel!!

Zach Tuohy (66) had his obligatory 20 possessions but 6 clangers hurt badly as did the score of Mitch Duncan (69) who had 20 possessions at 70% DE and 11 marks with 0 clangers but was scored poorly. Thanks be to Champion Data for another scoring anomaly!

MELBOURNE 17.5 (107) def ADELAIDE 9.12 (66)

VI

St Peter reached into his robes and brought forth what appeared to be a phone: With a white case, of course. On the back of the tablet John saw a symbol of a snake wrapped around an apple and the word iGod.

Phones in Heaven, he thought. Who knew?

After another eternity of silence, John could wait no longer. He cleared his throat. “Uh, how did I go?” he asked.

St Peter raised his eyes from the phone and nodded his head. “To enter Heaven, you need a score of 100 points. You, John, have scored 101! Congratulations, your soul is deemed worthy.” St Peter stepped aside, allowing John room to pass by as the gates beyond slowly drifted open.

Elated and eager to enter Paradise, John strode forward.

To be immediately stopped by a hand on his chest…

Saints

Clayton Oliver (143)!! Wow! What a second year break-out! Will he ever slow down?

I know he was rucking against a forward but Sam Jacobs (141) is back in form. 74 hit-outs if you don’t mind!

Jack Viney (131) has put together back-to-back great games now with 30 possessions and 12 tackles this week and Nathan Jones (120) gave a helping hand with 25 possessions, 8 marks and 6 tackles of his own.

Rory Laird (124) held his own in the battle for the best Supercoach defender, narrowly defeating Adams with his 37 possessions and 1 goal (and rightly so).

Sinners

They’re coming for you Rory Sloane (71)! Twice you’ve been tagged, twice the Crows have lost. This week Rory had more tackles (12) than possessions (11) with Vince manning him.

Matthew Crouch (79): I’m not sure what happened here. 29 possessions (9 contested) at 72% DE and only 3 clangers should really have added up to more than this!

Bernie Vince (42) has returned to tagging. Boo, Vince. Booooo!

FREMANTLE 10.12 (72) def RICHMOND 10.10 (70)

VII

“Wait a minute,” St Peter said, eyes again on his phone. “Your score hasn’t turned green yet.” John tried to squeeze past St Peter as the angel examined his phone but that hand on his chest was like iron.

After another small eternity, St Peter shook his head tutting. “I’m sorry John, scaling has just been completed. Your score was just downgraded to a 99.” John watched in despair as the pearly gates closed with a resounding clang.

“But, isn’t 99 good enough?” he pleaded.

“No, I’m afraid not, only the truly premium souls may enter Heaven,” St Peter said and clicked his fingers. A pillar of flames ignited before John and a rather dapper looking gentleman in a black tux stepped from the flames, nodding a pleasant greeting.

“John, please say hello to Satan. I believe he has been looking forward to meeting you,” St Peter said.

Saints

I don’t know what to do with Michael Walters (137). He either goes large or fails, this week going huge with 38 possessions. Lachie Neale (129) is the complete opposite, performing every week and now averaging 120 points per week.

Who’s regretting picking Fyfe ahead of Neale now?

Bradly Hill (108) hit a few targets this week breaking lines as only he can while for the Tiges, Alex Rance (106) gathered 20 possessions at 85% DE and an impressive 14 one percenters and Dustin Martin (105) returned to some form with 27 possessions and 1 goal.

Sinners

The entire Richmond side should probably be here for allowing Fremantle such a simple clearance in the last 20 seconds but I’ll try and find someone specific to criticize!

Bachar Houli (65) was starting to look promising but remains too much of an outside player to score well consistently.

Schwarzy named names during the week and Trent Cotchin (89) suffered with 5 clangers hurting his score.

PORT ADELAIDE 16.14 (110) def GOLD COAST 4.14 (38)

VIII

John dropped to his knees and hugged St Peter’s knees. “Please don’t send me to Hell, I don’t deserve to go,” he screamed.

St Peter frowned, replying in a grave voice, “I’m sorry, John, the scores are final no matter how irregular it seems.”

“But it’s not fair!” John cried.

“Fair,” St Peter snorted. “I have Adam Treloar in my Supercoach team, don’t talk to me about fair!” St Peter finally shook John off and turned away, giving his final commands over his shoulder: “Take him away, Satan!”

Satan felt a gentle, if rather warm, hand rest on his shoulder. “Time to go, John,” Satan said in a surprisingly mild voice. “There’s a special place in Hell for the people of Champion Data.”

Saints

Patrick Ryder (115) relied on hit-outs to advantage and contested ball to score well whereas Aaron Hall (109) relied on 1,000,000 possessions (or 37) and 8 tackles to scrape another ton.

Jared Polec (106) and Jasper Pittard (102) afforded plenty of space to gather 29 possessions each but Jarrod Harbrow (105) had to do it the hard way with little help from his friends to gather 35 possessions. He’s probably playing the most consistent footy of his career in 2017.

Sinners

I considered bringing Tom Lynch (29) into my side in 2 weeks but this stinker has me reconsidering. 9 possessions, 0 goals makes for hideous viewing. Touk Miller (67) had plenty of the ball but is well and truly in struggle town as Rocket plays him forward too much.

Gary Ablett (80) hasn’t repaid the coaches who selected him after his monster score with clangers and a poor efficiency hurting for the second straight week.

The following group is surprising given the result of this match: Chad WIngard (73) and Ollie Wines (86) both had plenty of the ball with 57 possessions between them but scored poorly, perhaps due to their 60-something disposal efficiencies? Robbie Gray (76) is clearly still struggling with a groin problem and really should be rested. I’m not really sure why he was dragged to China!

SYDNEY 18.12 (120) def NORTH MELBOURNE 11.12 (78)

IX

“So, let me make sure I understand,” Satan said, taking notes on a pad. “You have a secret scoring system that only the Champion Data staff understand?”

“Yes,” John replied.

“You award points for over one hundred different categories but don’t tell anyone what those categories are?”

“Yes,” John again replied.

“And you adjust scores up or down long after the game has actually finished?”

“Yes! We’ve been through this before.”

Satan chortled in delight. “I know, but it’s just so damn evil! Now tell me again about Shaun Higgins…”

Saints

Nick Newman (151): Too soon! I can’t talk about it yet!

Like a bear waking from his hibernation, Josh Kennedy (136) has scented food and is on the prowl. Is it time to grab him after this 37 possessions, 9 clearance performance? Dan Hannebery (134) has also woken up fully and is now looking more like his old self. Maybe he’s fully over the DT’s now?

Isaac Heeney (130) is proving to be the smart selection we all hoped for in the preseason with another classy 25 possessions, 2 goal effort while Sam Reid (127) outpointed Buddy as the Swans’ best forward with 3 goals, 22 possessions and 12 marks.

Sinners

Unfortunately Lance Franklin (82) doesn’t get to play Brisbane every week, kicking just 1 goal and using the ball poorly with his 21 possessions running at just 47% DE. Zak Jones (63) also disappointed the few adventurous coaches who thought he might be a defensive premium!

John Longmire is here for all the Supercoaches who traded Newman out. Horse, you should never have dropped Newman in the first place!!

 

Please note: No Champion Data staff were harmed in the making of the Round 8 Review!

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30 thoughts on “Round 8 Review”

  1. Frigging outstanding read Thommo, I haven’t even finished reading it yet but I’m sure the people on my train think they have some sort of laughing lunatic on their hands!! St.Peter I also have Adam Treloar !!

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    1. Come on Joestar, don’t enjoy my tripe 🙂 I’m trying to annoy everybody so they tell me to stick to simple SC-relevant reviews only.

      Maybe next week I’ll just write out a list of words from the Dictionary!

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  2. Great write up Thommo.

    I have resisted getting Yeo but after seeing him carve up the second half I am starting to think he needs to be in my team. Thoughts?

    I like Heeny also but am concerned about having so many sharing the same bye.

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    1. I picked up Yeo 4 weeks ago because he’s spending so much midfield time. The tagging roles are hurting his scores a little but when he plays well he scores crazily quickly. I’m pretty confident he’ll be a top 6 forward or close to barring injuries to key defenders at West Coasy.

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  3. Thommo Gold mate Gold. A great read and review.
    2 in a row for the Hawks – finals bound?? 2018 maybe…..

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    1. It’s nice to grab the odd win Brian but it’s rebuild time for us. We just need to stop wasting trades and give kids like Brand and Willsmore a chance.

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  4. Top form as always, Thommo!

    As I go over the ‘Rare Gems’ write-ups, I notice they’re a Kiss Of Death for nearly every player I’ve named to date 😉 Cotchin the latest victim. Stay tuned for the next poor sap to get a mention…….

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  5. Omg incredible! Didn’t see that coming!!

    I think I have sinned Thommo for I was more interested in reading about what happened to John than your games review!!

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    1. That’s ok Weendog, it was easier to write too. It’s nice writing something that doesn’t require fact checking.

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    1. I can’t find the post but I’m pretty sure I read a post from Adam saying his hit-outs to advantage were poor. Or did I imagine that?

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      1. paper had grundy listed 41 hitouts and only 5 to advantage he wasn’t robbed at all haha always been his problem

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  6. Think I’d be in trouble relying on scaling to get through the gates.
    Always enjoy your reviews Thommo. Your attempts to annoy have failed.

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      1. paper had grundy listed 41 hitouts and only 5 to advantage he wasn’t robbed at all haha always been his problem

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  7. Putting you in the Sinners list Thommo for spelling the one, the only, NIC NEWMANNNNNNN wrong!!!

    But, you are quickly put back on the Saints list for yet another ripper of a review.

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  8. Sensational read! I couldn’t vote for Newman as he lost me a game. Also I see what your doing with Yeo! Not putting him in the poll so he can’t win!! #conspiracy

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    1. My friend is a mad Eagles fan and he too, thinks a lot of things are conspiracies. Is this a common theme with you folk 😛

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    2. Yeo was 4th highest scorer, Matteo, only top 3 go in or the poll takes too long. I love me some Yeo though, so happy if he wins overall.

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