Cow Talk Round 6 –> 7

Written by Father Dougal on May 1 2019

Small or Far Away, Father Dougal on Cows


Hi Everybody!

I decided to get some help with the player write-ups this week, and so have asked the other Cow Talk contributors form the Cow Talk Advisory Panel. The C-TAP will be voting on whatever seems like it would be fun to vote on.



Oh right, the C-TAP will consist of myself, my imaginary interlocutor, and Cuddly To Mini Therion, my stuffed Hamster.


Pumpkin seeds!


Collins – Voted most ready to be traded out by the C-TAP. It looks like he has topped out and will just go up and down as his scores fluctuate. Get a keeper – just add cash!

Scrimshaw – Second place in the most ready to be traded out voting. He has a better chance then Collins of making money, he just does not look like making much more. Nothing says he won’t put up another 98 and shoot up, but I wouldn’t hold him hoping for significant growth.

Hore – Now past being a downgrade target.  Voted rookie most likely to have jerked his owners around by the C-TAP. Also voted cow most likely to join the Hold Until His Bye club.

Clark – I’d actually hold him over Scrimshaw if you are not playing him on field. More chance of useful price changes. But, numbers below, so you can decide for yourself.  We believe in helping people help themselves. Give a hamster a pumpkin seed and he is fed for an hour, and doesn’t sink his teeth into your thumb. (Squeak!) And he looks so cute! And you do it over and over again because hamsters lack the ability to, ok, metaphor fail….. So, um, wait, ok, if you let a man sit by your fire he is warm for a night, but set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

Duursma – Still no need to rush him out as of now. Nice 84, with the hope of more.  

Wilke – That sweet 112 has left his Three Round Average (TRA) but he has more cash in him than most of the other defender cows. He BE is only 40, so not likely to go the wrong way

Burgess – Did not play, may not play much more, who knows? Who cares, he was only around for the DPP anyways, and he still has that.


Moore – Another bloke who has some more money in him most likely. I was going to have a theme where I compared each of the cows to one of the Avengers, but then I decided I was too lazy. Moore was the best one though. His long flowing locks and high cheekbones makes him perfect for Black Widow. If only he wore spandex on that lithe figure….Sorry, the Hamster wrote that, yeah, that’s it….  (Squeak!)

Ridley –At his current pace he will make his owners $100k about round eleven. A great example of why we shouldn’t invite Mr. Clever along when selecting our teams. He and Mr. Optimism need to be sent outside along with Mr. Who I Barrack For.  

Unless they bring pumpkin seeds.

Right, in which case we take the pumpkin seeds and still make them sit outside.


Rozee – From last week: “He may have made his money, although since he tonned up once he can probably do it again.”  Called it!

Even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then.




Walsh – From last week: “May be kicked out of Cow Talk for not being a cow, like next week. Cow least in need of me talking about him ever.”  So, I got one right with Rozee and one wrong with Walsh. Looks like a cow after all. Still a very good one and we shall see how he goes after this. Jack I-am-for-sure-not-a-cow Macrae only went for 85 last week, so one bad match isn’t enough to conclude he is not a steer after all.  Voted cow most likely to be join the Hold Past His Bye club.


Constable – Also looking like someone who can be usefully held until his bye

Butters – The 23 is out of his TRA so he has a shot at more cash. Still, looks like a safe trade out.

Atkins – Might go out for Hately I said last week, ha ha.  Well, might go out, he is just slowly going up now. No rush but no reason to keep if he can be useful.

Scott – From last week: “He has a surprisingly large amount of money left to make, even at an average of 54. I’d never have guessed. If he keeps his job, he is worth holding onto.” He did not keep his job. He could be a useful loophole. Has not made much money so I would rather keep him than someone with little upside.


Cousins –  From last week: “If he average much worse then 75 he could lose money.” He did, he came very close to losing money. Another friend of Mr. Clever.  At real risk of losing cash. If you think he has another 92 in him for next week, hold on, but if you think he will follow up his last two weeks of 45 and 59 with more of the same, bail now. I feel ashamed for noticing the obvious joke about his spouse marrying their Cousins. I still shared it though.

Bailey Smith – Nice 91! More cash on the way. He would have been Thor, since he has the hair and wore Thor’s jumper on round one! I know it is long past, but did anyone else think Chris Hemsworth being in the crowd at Marvel Stadium watching the Dogs play in Thor themed jumpers to be the best meta joke/situation ever?

Gibbons – Out next round if he doesn’t put up a big score this round. Voted least likely to put up a big score this round. Of the cows who are playing that is; Darling wasn’t on the ballot.

Davies-Uniacke – A 55 last round implies he has topped out. He has made $100k, which is not worth the trade Mr. Clever talked so many people into making before R3. Still, he tonned up once….

Stack– No longer a downgrade option, but growing well and good on anyone who has him.

Ross – No longer on the bubble. Is he worth bringing in? Well, if you hold him until his bye, you would probably make enough to justify him, assuming he keeps up his scoring. Better than Will Hayes though? Will probably score more, costs a lot more. Not as much overall upside. Better JS? It would not be mad. Not gonna go further than that.


O’Brian – Ruck Cow! Whoo hoo. Gonna make more cash, doing well.


DrewNice to see him ton up again!  Hold for at least two more weeks. Ha, oops, that was last week. This week he did ok and has  lots more to make next week and maybe after that. 

Parker – Going up slowly. He is going up. Until a downgrade target appears he is ok.

Setterfield – Did not play last week.

Miers – That 90 helped a lot, although he still seems to have just a few more good weeks in him.

Petruccelle – See Gibbons. Wait a week, decide then.

Balta – Still not worth a trade to get rid of.  Now with a chance at cash. Very little cash. Great for buying pumpkin seeds! Yes, although sadly not much else. How he lost to Gibbons in the Least Likely to Put up a Big Score voting I’ll never know. Mr. Optimism must have dropped by and brought beer and pumpkin seeds.

Baker – Another downgrade target in theory, even though he is not on the bubble. Like Ross, could make $150k+ by his bye.  I feel so dirty even suggesting guys past the bubble, but the numbers back it up. Of course they are numbers from small data samples and lots could go wrong. I still can’t bring myself to say more than “Not Mad.”


Remember, all predictions wrong or triple your money back!

Thanks for Reading!



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16 thoughts on “Cow Talk Round 6 –> 7”

  1. Thanks FD

    I think you might have mixed up your review of Drew. He only scored 105 round 5 and 62 last week.

    I suspect without another biggish score, (80+) he maybe ready in a week or two when that 105 drops from his price cycle.

    Thanks again FD invaluable as always.


      1. I also suspect the c-tap crew may have over indulged in ‘pumpkin seeds’. Write up starts terrifically, but I spot 3 mistakes in the fwds section. Drew, Petrol and Balta.
        Nonetheless still a great write up FD, always look forward to this one


          1. I fixed Drew’s write up and Petrocelle’s numbers. I’m not seeing anything wrong with Balta though…?


  2. Wit and wisdom is quite a combination worth waiting for.
    I bet there will be a fair few looking at the Hayes-Ross theory after your wise comments.


  3. Heads up to those with Cousins he’s suspended this week so wont be coming out with a 92 until next week at the earliest.


  4. What should I do with Brad Crouch?
    If Answerth is named, should I move Collins to Answerth and Brad Crouch to Fyfe.
    I’m unsure about whether to trade Zak Butters due to his breakeven, and Stocker might be a downgrade target if he can play the Kade Simpson/Nic Newman role successfully.
    Guess I’ll have to wait for team lineups.


  5. Cow talk has been the most enjoyable and helpful thread, amongst many , that I have encountered in my time on this site, bar none.


      1. I’ll drink to that! as a rookie coach learn so much about how to go about it. Thanks so much, and to all the regular writers and commentators. And that bye planner spreadsheet, thats simply amazing!


  6. I have stack, have baker. Going to double down and bring in Hayes and Ross. Have been contemplating this all week and this has solidified it for me. Appreciate the write up thank you mate



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