Cow Talk R6 → R7

Small or Far Away – Father Dougal on Cows

 

Hi Everybody!

 

So, I’m having a bit of trouble typing this week.

And why is that?

Because I’m having a spot of trouble seeing the keyboard. Having to go by touch and the screen. 

You are weaseling, why are you having trouble seeing etc etc?

Because I am wearing the Cone of Shame. 

Right. And why are you wearing the Cone of Shame?

Mumbles….

Louder!

Because of my score this week. And before you draw this out

Too late

It was 1787. 

And thus the Cone of Shame. 

I do not like the Cone of Shame.

I’d have always thought it would be me, being the Hamster, but, what choice did we have?

Yeah, so much for Mr “I have a corporeal body and can reach the keyboard so I’m in charge.” 

The meek are inheriting Cow Talk! 

Sort of

More like power sharing. Just explain. 

So, the C-TAP. (Cow Talk Advisory Panel) has sometimes been involved with decisions. Mostly when I am waffling and want input. But given this last week, the whole roles and power sharing thing appears to have worked itself out. 

 

Imagine if you will, Dorothy Gale being swept from Kansas. Her farmhouse lands on Ross Lyon, and she heads off to the Emerald City. Hopefully Ross was vacationing on the Gold Coast at the time, because the walk from Optus Stadium to the SCG is brutal. Anyways, along the way she meets three Supercoach…players. Each of them focused on one of the central things that go into our SC decisions. The first and by far the cutest, is the Cowardly Hamster, who lacking courage makes decisions based on fear. The second fellow she meets is the Tin Bushman, who has a big mechanical heart and tends to make decisions based on sentimental grounds. The last one she meets is, of course, the Scarecrow, made of an old Cassock stuffed with straw. He obviously has no brain, as evidenced by his sub 1800 score last round. He attempts, poorly, to make decisions based on numbers and logic. 

So, fear, sentiment and “thinking” the three components of Supercoach decision making. 

Yup. Now, the first two are not very useful when it comes to making good decisions, but they are a factor anyways. And the C-TAP will try and talk about all of them for a bit and see how it goes. Useful or not, too much work, or annoying or not, etc.   

That’s nice. Any useful advice or are you just going to talk about writing and your shame rather than writing about something?

 You try focusing while wearing the Cone of Shame! Ok, fine…. 

So, this is a big week for incoming cows? Or is it?

Yes it is! I’m terrified of not getting in the cows while I can. And of getting in the wrong ones! We have like four maybe even five or six to pick from! So much chance to fail. Ahhh!!!

The sight of those low breakevens makes my heart fill with greed.

What if I go for the lowest BEs so I don’t miss out. But do those guys have job security?

And like an idiot, I’m wondering to what degree one up and one down would still make sense. 

!!!

!!!

What if the player you want to bring in next week is going to go up in price more than the cow does? You net lose money if that happens

Can such a thing happen?

Well, it can. The big question is, will it. 

What’s the answer?

Forty Two!

(Glares)

Er, right, so after looking at the “Projected R7 price changes” from SC Gold, not likely at all. 

So we just get cows?

Well, if you can afford to not get the points a week sooner,

(Glares harder)

So, if you can get enough points on the field this week maybe it works out.

Numbers Scarecrow

So, if you get an extra 66 points this week, that would be an extra 6 per week on average. Which at about $5,000 a point (very about) is about $30,000. Which is still less than the good cows are projected to make…um…maybe closer if you also include the extra costs…?  Well, closer but still no.  So maybe if you think Pittonet is going to lose a lot and Gawn go up a lot…Well, it is hard to come up with a case where it is better to bring in a point scorer vs a cow, although you don’t get the cash right away, you just lose getting it when you cash in. Um…..thinks more….if you cash a cow out in 4 rounds, there would be seven left. So $40,000 for 7 rounds is about 8 points so 8 * 7 = 56. Assuming you use it all well….

So, you are saying :It depends’ but with it moistly going towards getting the cows? 

Maybe now is a good time to trot out the Rules of Cowquisiion!

Good idea! Some of the most relevant:

 

Father Dougal’s Rules of Cow-quisition, abridged

Rule Number Two: “Good cows have good job security. A cow without job security is just an unreliable loophole.”

Rule Number Three: “The cheaper the better. Lower cost and higher profit.”

Rule Number Five: “Money is gold, trades are oxygen, and downgrade targets are platinum. Never waste a downgrade target by starting with him on your bench.”

Rule Number Seven: “When a cow is best 22, you pick that cow”

Rule Number Thirteen: “It’s going to go wrong. Pick the cows who will go wrong in the ways you can best cope with”

Rule Number Nineteen: “Know your coaches. It doesn’t matter if a cow should play, it only matters if the coach thinks he should play.”

Rule Number Twenty: “Know your teams. A cow filling in for two weeks before a gun comes back from injury is really a loophole waiting to happen.”

 

I am afraid of not following the rules

As well you should be! I am just noticing that rule three during the season also means more money extracted from the player you are downgrading from.  And not wasting downgrade targets is important mid-season too, for rule five. 

Did you just try and distract us from the “math” you did before?

Maybe? Look, the cows this week are really good! Rankine is a rule seven cow. Best 22. Pick him.  Most likely Andy Macphearson is a rule seven cow too. Now I know who I am bringing in. I’d like to upgrade and get some points, but I can’t convince myself that is a good idea

Of course you are wearing the Cone of Shame and thus should be ignored!

Yeah, well, Ignore me at your peril…Oh…!

If you try to make a Monty Python reference about peril and spanking and grail shaped beacons, we’re gonna pour beer into the Cone of Shame. 

Mmmm!!!

Used beer.

Ohhh…..

So, moving on, I am not gonna say don’t upgrade this week. I will say think hard before you do. 

And follow the rules of Cowquisition!

 

Defenders

 

Starcevich: I’m afraid he will lose more money. I’m also afraid I’ll need him to avoid a donut when the fixtures get dodgy! I’m pissed off at him!  I’m thinking there’s nothing wrong with ditching him but there is a lot to be said for players who play now and soon we may have issues fielding 22. Long term likely to go up in price again some. Gonna be up and down. 

Noble: Did not play

Brander: Did not play

Young: I’m afraid of that 1 in his Three Round average!  Me too! Me three! 

Doedee: I’m afraid I missed the Doedee boat! I’m hopeful he’ll average 100 from here on out! I think that he’s gonna stop being in Cow Talk, because he is soon going to be going up and down with his scores, whatever they are, and he’s not really a cow like object anymore. 

Midfielders

 

Brown: Did not play

Pickett: I’m afraid he will be dropped again and take too long to make more money. I’m still in love with him after his debut and hate giving up on him.  I think he is worth holding until he ends up making enough money to make spending a trade worthwhile. 

Mcinerney: Did not play

Hayden: I’m afraid he is done making money and hasn’t made enough to be worth culling. I’m ..agreeing with you. Yeah, it’s hard to do much with him. Seems to be playing though. 

Rucks

Pittonet: I’m afraid he will never make his BE again! I keep hoping he’ll score another 130+ if he just faces the right match up.  I feel like even if he loses a little money this round there are still more important trades to make. 

Forwards

 

Budarick: I’m afraid he will lose money. I’m pissed at him for turning crappy.  I’m beginning to think his having a job and a Fwd/Mid swing is more important than getting cash from him. 

King: I’m worried….that everything seems fine with him  I’m so happy he is both playing and going up in price. I’m thinking there is almost no way that trading him this round is a good idea and not even worth much thought. Next round we shall see. He has his job locked up…need guys on field. 

Taylor: I’m afraid of lingering effects from that head knock! I’m pissed at his low score messing up his cash generation!  I’m thinking he would be ok to trade out, but also isn’t a must go  

Vandermeer: I’m afraid the people who got him in have a big edge on those of us who didn’t! And I am right!  I’m pissed it is too late to bring him in. I’m both of those.  

Dodgy Advice

Ok, so last round was extra dodgy ‘cause Steven didn’t get named. No way he comes in this week! 

I’m short on dodgy advice this week, which is a little surprising. I mean, bring in two cows. I suppose planning on the Monday night Macpherson playing and keeping his spot is a little dodgy…..

 

Remember the Cow Talk guarantee, all advice wrong or triple your money back! (Offer not valid if money is actually involved.)

 

Thanks for reading!

Thanks for reading!

Thanks for reading!

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