Supercoach Star Wars Episode III – The Forward Line Awakens

Written by Schwarzwalder on February 23 2018


Forget about that ridiculous ‘Special Edition’ music that Lucas added unnecessarily…….I want that original Ewok ‘Yub Nub’ music! 😉


** Please note that these are based more on character traits than anything else.  Any resemblance between footy player and Star Wars character is purely coincidental 😉 **



Han Solo – Robbie Gray (PTA)

A smooth mover and one of the greatest Space Smugglers of all time.  Even Gray smuggled a bit of space against the Saints late last year for one of the more spectacular victories of 2017.  Much like Solo, Gray always seems to find a way out of trouble.  Might remain frozen in carbonite due to off-season surgery but will be given every chance of an early appearance………

Classy finisher that always finds a way out of trouble



R2-D2 – Cyril Rioli (HAW)

This tiny droid has plenty of tricks up his sleeve and is a very slippery customer.  Has been the unassuming hero of many missions over the last decade.  A crowd favorite that is getting on in years but there is still life in the old bolts yet………..

Still plenty of tricks left in this bucket of bolts


Rey – Charlie Curnow (CAR)

A mountain of talent & ability that is yet to be properly unleashed.  With the right Master (Coach), has the potential to be a very powerful Jedi and bring Carlton into the Light once more (Finals footy)…….

The potential is there for something special


Kylo Ren – Toby Greene (GWS)

The ultimate villain of the modern era.  Unlike heroes that are occasionally tempted by the Dark Side, this Padawan Learner has brief moments of weakness leaning towards the Light.  One senses there was once good in him but he is constantly tortured by his demons and remains forever trapped in his conflicted state.  If he can stay away from the Jedi Council (Tribunal), he’s in for a strong season…….

An almighty conflict rages behind those innocent, youthful faces



BB8 – Daniel Rioli (RIC) 

What was first seen as a marketing gag has produced stunning results.  Faster than R2D2, BB8 displays relentless pressure when placed in the action and is a classy finisher to boot.  Still a long way to go before he reaches the accomplishments of R2D2 but started in the best possible way (already one Premiership medal).

Quick-thinking, fast, elusive and a classy finisher


Darth Maul – Jake Stringer (ESS) 

Sporting some colorful body art, Stringer made an impressive entrance early in the piece and definitely has all the right moves about him. After a successful first campaign resulting in a Premiership Medal, The Package lost his spot in the starting line-up and was cut in two………I mean, dropped to the twos 😉

Impressive entrance but faded far too easily



Chewbacca – Max Gawn (MEL)

Height and a decent amount of facial hair……that’s all I got.  If Big Max can give us a ‘Chewy war cry’ after kicking a goal then my inner fan-boy will dead-set joy-gasm 😉

Insert Chewy war cry 😉


K-2SO – Sam Jacobs (ADE)

Defected from the Dark Side (Carlton) to unleash his full potential in Adelaide.  His blunt demeanour and battle-hardened attitude is a welcome change from the droids we’re used to in this series.

FUN FACT: K-2SO’s frame has replaced Sam Jacobs’ skeletal features



Thank you all for indulging me and my Sci-Fi fantasies…….I hope it was an enjoyable read for you! Back to regular programming next week 😉



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13 thoughts on “Supercoach Star Wars Episode III – The Forward Line Awakens”

  1. Jacobs does look an awful lot like K-2SO in that picture. Well, they’re build the same way, anyway.

    I can just see it now:
    “I thought I told you to stay in the forward line?”
    “You did, but I thought it was boring, and you were in trouble.”

    And when he eventually graduates to being an assistant coach:
    “What would I know? My speciality is only strategic analysis.”


    1. Or when they fire him from his assistant coaching role for being snarky, and he has to get a job doing first aid:
      *A player gets injured*
      *K2SO runs onto the field*
      “Congratulations, you are being rescued.”


  2. You had me at ‘yub nub’.

    Thanks for three highly entertaining posts, Schwarz!

    Actually, given your username, i’m surprised you didn’t sneak a Spaceballs reference in there somewhere…


    1. +1 on this! I was waiting for a “May the Schwarz be with you”

      Then again he is always with us based on all these articles he’s getting out!


    2. Gotta love the ‘yub nub’ 😉
      Spaceballs……of course! I’ll have to work at ‘ludicrous speed’ to get that happening 😉 Glad you liked it!


    1. Nah, think I’m running thin on material for the prequels. It’d probably just be a 2000 word essay on my hatred of Jar Jar Binks 😉


  3. Thanks for these, Schwarz! I had all kind of plans after the forward line was my weakest link last year. Figured I would go in loading up on premos and then Super Coach unveiled itself and I found myself cringing again.

    I do love me a Coleman chasing KPP who (if he stays fit) will usually hover around the Top 10 (ie. Buddy, JJK) but obviously the price flux is a wild ride and the forward line seems to be the place to grab fallen premos.

    Building my team I’ve gone from spending the big bones and grabbing 4 fwd premos (in hopes of just locking them in and riding the storm, saving trades) to just having 1 ‘breakout’ star and all rookies. I’m even contemplating going with a 5-6-2-0 philosophy given the abundance of mid/fwd rookies who seem to be tracking well so far.

    It’s a journey into the unknown. My team builds still haven’t passed my personal ‘eye test’ because of the dang forward line. I feel so pleased sometimes until I check that last, goal kicking line.

    One player who hasnt left the side since Day 1 is Walters. He is a joy to watch and he can clearly go bang if he stays fit. I don’t know! The JLT will determine a lot. Not to mention Hutta’s (I imagine, hopefully, coming soon!) Rookie Reviews. Could be some big persuasion there. And also, like last year, it could come down to if my fridge is stocked with beer during Round 1 and me flipping my team to put whatever dude is the KPP of whatever game airs here in Canada!

    Ahhh, Okay, I got a free bottle of wine from work and there are officially some JLT scores to assess!

    Oh, and I’m trying to book a trip to Melbourne this year to visit my good friend, finally! What a season it will be! Me in the G! Go Dees! (Hogan is on the radar! Tall Andy, my pal, has been name dropping him for years and Jesse deserves a good run!)

    And thanks again! I’m too excited!


  4. Good to hear from you, Mantini!
    Walters has been in and out of my line-up a bit as well. Not sure if I’ll have the fortitude to stick with him though. Hutta has been tweeting hard all day about the Rookies. He should have something ready in the next few days. Good luck this year!



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